Saturday, March 3, 2012

It’s An Epidemic…There’s no Vaccine, and a Cure Ain’t Lookin Great Either


Listening to: All the Things You Said – Tatu
Mood: Tired, but ON

If there’s one thing that makes me lose my mom zen, it would have to be whining. Seriously. All of the patience I have accrued in the last 8 some years from having kids gets flushed down the drain. Hello, I’m Becky and I’m a yeller.  This unproductive method of discipline has been passed down from my grandparents, to my parents, to me. I’m sure it will get passed down to my kids too – something I’m not proud of.  I have been trying my best to tone it down a little and stop losing my shit over every little small thing lately. The problem for me is that I’ve been dealing with an extraordinary amount of nonsense lately by myself with Daddy G out of town. Never one to deal well with nonsense and drama, all the naughty stuff my kids do tends to get lumped into the same irritating pile, instead of making a bigger deal out of stuff that warrants it. I’m not trying to excuse my behavior (bad mommy!), because I really should be trying a little harder.

When they start whining, it’s almost like a knee jerk response. The first (loud) thing out of my mouth is “Quit ya whining!” I’m not sure when exactly this started. Well, ok, that’s not entirely true. I do know. All of this behavior started when we moved into our new place in Bangalore in January. It started small with my kids whining to my husband whenever they wanted sympathy or needed a parent who was slightly softer. They know better than to whine to me for sympathy, because I literally have to sit on my hands so that I’m not chucking things at them. Also, almost knee jerk. Almost.  I tried nipping this in the bud. Unfortunately for me, the hubs never saw this as a problem. It was almost cute. Cue the twitching from me. You don’t have to listen to it all the time. Well, this epidemic has grown and developed into an epic problem, one I’m not entirely sure how to stop.  My kids were never really much into whining, for which I’m grateful. The eldest was more of a screaming, tantrum throwing monster, the younger, well, was pretty zen about life and just asked for what she wanted.

My tactic is mostly to ignore what they’re trying to tell me and remind them that if they ask me politely, I would be willing to listen. Otherwise, my ears automatically close to block out all this atrocious noise.  They usually aren’t amused, but they usually give in right away and talk politely. I have always hated listening to other people’s kids whine. And like many other things I swore I would never let my kids do, this one has happened. Why yes, I would like a slice of humble pie. Thanks for asking. What gets irritating to me is when every little thing comes out of their mouths in a whiney tone, even though I’ve asked them eleventy-billion times to knock it the heck off.  If you by some act of nature or luck have a kid that you successfully taught not to whine after they were two, my hat is off to you as a super parent. Having a stubborn 8 year old that decided that whining was a viable strategy for sympathy is enough to make you bat shit cra-zay. Of course, her little copycat sister can’t help but decide that her sister is the ultimate source of knowledge and this much be a great way to behave. I’ve mentioned (and really, was only half joking) about mashed potatoes in the ears. I am craving them now, only for the whining instead of the noise level. Unfortunately, I’m too lazy to get up and make mashed potatoes right now. India doesn’t have boxed potatoes people (not that I eat those anyhow), and mashing potatoes takes some serious arm effort. 

I would love to hear any ideas that you have successfully implemented that stopped the whining. At least throw me a bone and reassure me that if I stick to my guns, the behavior will eventually die out.

Becky

No comments: