Noise Level vs Sanity Level

Listening to: Beatles - Penny Lane
Mood: Happy

I have this theory. Well, I have lots of theories, but we’re gonna tackle this one tonight. I have been thinking about how much noise affects your sanity. My theory is that they are inversely proportionate. The noisier it is, the less sane you become. Some types of noise are more harmful than others. Cars honking outside your window is mildly annoying. A four year old with a cowbell in her hand and a song in her heart – induces mild insanity in 3.4 seconds. I have noticed this phenomenon much more as of late because I have 2 vociferous noise makers in my house now. One four year old because, well, she likes being noisy and life is more fun that way. One 2 month old, because, well, she was born with a super set of lungs and an uber fussy temperament and getting her way is just so much easier when she’s screaming. I’ve noticed that the more noise they are producing (i.e. the cowbell and song previously mentioned + a screaming, hungry baby) the more frazzled and insane I feel.

I have never, ever valued absolute silence like I do now. I feel absolutely zen-ish when I have a few minutes of quiet. I can understand now (even though I don’t condone it) why they export noise abuse for terrorists in Iraq. If I was from Iraq and was exposed to ultra loud rap music for hours on end, I would want to gouge my eyes out with rusty nails too.

This becomes especially annoying when I’m trying to work on something that remotely requires an iota of concentration. Both of my daughters (as well as every kid in general) have radar. If I’m working on blogging, talking on the phone, paying bills, etc, that is the exact moment when noise is crucial. It’s some kind of cosmic payback for parents’ ability to know kids are doing something naughty without actually seeing it. The eyes on the back of the head thing. In fact, that is just about the only time when my 4 year old is quiet. She’s either sleeping, or being naughty. It’s a dead giveaway at 3 in the afternoon.

So next time your kid is playing Mozart on the cowbell with a made up song, your baby is screaming, the phone is ringing, the television is on, your spouse is talking to you, and the radio is on for some mysterious reason, go lock yourself in the bathroom for 5 minutes. I promise it will do a world of good for your sanity. Just try your best to ignore the pounding on the door and the screams for mercy from your spouse as your kids take him hostage.

Becky